Okay, many of you read part one, where i addressed a peculiar three day stretch of encounters here in the Greater Salt Lake metro. Since then, I've witnessed quite a few strange things, but most were what you might encounter on any given day...people talking to themselves, the aimless wanderers, and so on. However, over the last week, three really stood out, and one that occurred yesterday actually resulted in a physical confrontation. So, without further ado, i give you....
"Xena the Elder Warrior Princess"...I decided to walk down a different street on the way to work as is my wont on occasion. This time, it was 5th South...I'm walking alongside a popular state building/park when i hear ahead of me a peculiar fluting sound, the lilting battlecry of a certain television phenomenon, which instantly drew my attention. I looked ahead and see an older woman, somewhat emaciated and weathered, fighting an invisible opponent with (thankfully) equally invisible swords (as i imagined them, lol)...she sounding her "lalalalalalalalalalalala" as she moves in for the kill, violently mauling a rolled up piece of paper with a sound kicking. She follows it up with a second strike, then turns to address traffic at the corner, where she threatens passing creatures (cars) with her arsenal of imaginary weapons. The walk signal flashes and she crosses the street, battling for each step she takes. As she gets across, she manages to vanquish the last of her foes, turns left onto 1st east heading to 4th south, walks about 20 feet up to a tree, places both hands on the tree, and begins to commune with the trunk for some 30 seconds or so. Apparently, whatever it told her was pleasing, as she backed away smiling, put up some Bullwinkle horns, and went on her merry way a smilin' and a gigglin'....I kept going down 5th South.....
"The Singing Prisoner"....Okay, once again, I'm on the Trax on the way to work. It's early, and like most of the commuters, I'm pretty much half asleep still. The Trax stops at one of the stations, and our next case study enters. He never takes a seat, but rather remains standing near the exit. He had the classic homeless appearance working (you know it if you've ever seen it). It seems like he's in good spirits. He just is a singing away....now mind you, he doesn't have a good voice, can't quite carry a tune, doesn't really know the lyrics to the songs he's singing, and transitions from song to song mid-verse. However, the guys got charisma, and there is something to be said for that, right? Kind of like that Korean(?) guy from American Idol a few years back singing "She Bang"....you hate to hear it but can't turn it off regardless! Anyhow, on this trip, I had my bike with me, and all bikers have to stand with their bikes at the front or back of the cabs. There are however several other exits in each cab, the one closest to me being the one occupied by Mr. Manilow. We get to "Courthouse" (one of the Trax stations), sit there for a minute while people disembark and others get on, and then the train pulls out for the next station. Literally the very second the train starts moving again, our singing champ starts freaking out. Apparently, that was his stop, and even though he was literally standing at the exit the whole time we stopped, i guess he was unable to exit somehow. He starts frantically hitting the "open door" button, screaming about how this was his stop, they're holding him prisoner, help, "LET ME OFFFFFFFFFF......".Well, i guess the door was seemingly the problem for him, so he heads in my direction, still raving, looks at me, and begins insisting i get him out of here. I set my backpack down, look him in the eye, and tell him to bother somebody else. He starts to freak out again, so i simply shout "Go...Now!" He complies, but now I'm apparently his jailer and all the worlds evils are alternately caused by me, an overarching UTA (Utah Transit Authority) conspiracy, on and on. He grabs the handles on the original exit he was standing next to, starts literally trying to rip the doors open, and continues his little tirade. Moments late, we get to Gallavan Plaza station (my stop as well coincidentally), he exits, and races off down Main Street, and i assume into the horizon....
"James"....It seems quite a few of these encounters happen on the Trax, and this one is no different. This just happened on my way to work yesterday morning. So, the set-up...the seating is arranged to fit two people facing two people with an identical situation on the other side of the aisle, with about 2 feet or so between....I'm sitting facing a gentleman from Ethiopia. Across and to my left is a young white couple, and sitting diagonal to me is a Tongan lady. I'm bullshitting with the Ethiopian guy about some of the World Cup upsets and the conversation transitioned into talk of the Ark of the Covenant and it's possible resting place in Ethiopia along with the Knights Templar's alleged involvement therein. Fascinating conversation, and a rare Trax moment in my opinion. Very, very enjoyable. We get to a stop, and the Tongan lady cries out "James!" "Over here!"...well, here comes James, an average looking black guy in a white tee, somewhat disheveled, but not really noticeably so...basically just an average looking dude. Well, apparently James had quite the night out on the town and was loudly describing his many exploits, from fat cocaine rails and a crack pipe, to having his way with a woman in the middle of the street, how he don't care, he does what he wants, nobody should judge him, blah, blah, blah...it kind of killed my conversation with the cool Ethiopian guy, but i admit i thought the tale being told was at least moderately entertaining. Well, a blind guy was sitting
behind the Ethiopian, and he leaned over and politely asked if "James" would mind ceasing his story telling. His mom was getting on at the next stop, and he didn't want her to have to listen to this. Well, James didn't find this to be reasonable at all, and starts taunting the blind guy, saying such gems as "you don't know me, you can't even see me" and "i know a guy with no ears, he can't hear me at all"....makes sense, right? Well, James tells himself loudly "no, I'm not gonna say anything else", which was good, because at that point, i was getting aggravated at his complete lack of respect. Since he wasn't going to speak further though, i remained silent. At this point, the blind guy decides not to remain near "James" and moves to the back near the bikers (as i described in the last story), and at the next stop, a pregnant lady with a toddler in a stroller takes the blind mans seat. Now, the whole time, "James" is muttering to himself more and more loudly about how he's a "Street Nyogah (word changed for this article)", how he's "Hard", how he "don't play", and so on, works himself into a bit of a frenzy, leans over without looking and starts back in with "You hear me blind man, I'm a hard assed street Nyogah"...now mind you, even if blind man had still been there, this would've been beyond acceptable, but now pregnant lady and toddler are catching this crap. This is the point where i stood up and stepped towards "James" and told him he needed to shut his mouth and sit there silently..."James", Mr "Hard assed street Nyogah" tells me "Fuck you white boy" and stands up, at which point i punched "James"" in the chest and knocked him back into his seat. At this point, i had a bit of righteous fury working, and i stood over him, telling him to sit there, and "go ahead, say something else!"..."James" says "Calm down big dog, i aint looking for no trouble (i love his use of good English grammar)"...i reply "Fuck you, you were looking for trouble, you just didn't think you'd find it."..."James" looks down at his shoes and i tell him "Fuck that! You're going to look at me when i'm speaking"...."James" looks back up, and i tell him that "street nyogah" is just another word for "punk assed cowardly little bitch", and proceeded to describe exactly how much of a pathetic loser he was, how no man would let me do what i was doing to him without trying to fight back, and so on (i wish i could remember everything i said, but it was a blur in the heat of the moment)...anyway, i estimate this went on for about a minute before we got to the next stop and i told "James" to get off MY train....I could see everybody else was studiously looking everywhere but at out little confrontation and there wasn't any other sound aside from the noise of the Trax themselves...Anyway, "James" exits, and as soon as the Trax start moving i hear him shout "Fuck you white boy, you're luck"......(we moved out of earshot at that point, lol)...typical.........anyway, the Ethiopian shakes his head and says, "Man, i hate American Nyogahs...he would've been roasted over a fire back where i came from" (mind you, Ethiopian guy is literally as black as night)...we both started chuckling...........oh the Trax i tell ya'!!!!....still haven't figured out if it was me or James that qualifies as the third crazy for this article, lol!!!
